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Saturday, May 2, 2009

Three Wishes

Three women were out golfing one day and one of them hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her,
"If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said,
"Thank you, but I forgot to mention that there was a condition to your wishes - that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better"
The woman said, "That would be fine"

For her first wish she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her,
"You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to him"

The woman replied,
"That will be okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me"
So, poof - she's the most beautiful woman in the world.
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said,
"That will make your husband the richest man in the world, and he will be 10 times richer than you"

The woman said,
"That will be okay, because what is mine is his, and what is his is mine..."

So, poof, she's the richest woman in the world.
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack"

Date with a Woman…

Read on.....
Very touching..................


Date with a Woman…


After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you. The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.
That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.
'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

'I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you,' I responded. 'Just the two of us.'
She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'
That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous.
When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.
She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed, 'she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting'. We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.
After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Large print. Half way through the entries, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said.'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded. During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation - nothing extraordinary, but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We
talked so much that we missed the movie.
As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.
'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice.
Much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered.
A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have time to do anything for her. Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.
An attached note said : 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me..
I love you, son.'

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time : 'I LOVE YOU!' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than God and your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till 'some other time.'
Pass this along
to everyone with an aging parent,
to a child, to an adult,
to anyone with a parent and most importantly,
to someone you truly love.

Only if it is raining...

Preetha was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Rajesh, when she heard her husband's car pull in the driveway.
She yelled at Rajesh, "Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!"
Rajesh looked out the window and said, "I can't jump out the window! It's raining like hell out there."
Preetha cried, "If my husband catches us in here, he will kill both of us!"
So, Rajesh grabbed his clothes and jumped out the window. When he landed outside he found himself in the middle of a marathon race, so he started running along side the others, only he was still in the nude, carrying his clothes on his arm.
One of the runners asked him, "Do you always run in the nude?"
Rajesh answered, while gasping for air, "Oh yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running."
Then another runner asked, "Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?"
Rajesh answered breathlessly, "Oh yes, that way I can get dressed at the end of the run and get in my car to go home."
Then another runner asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?"
Rajesh answered, "Only if it's raining!"

Here are some sayings from School.....smile!

Teacher: 'What is your name?'
Student: 'Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.'
Teacher: 'When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.'
Student: 'My name is Sunlight.
*****
Teacher: 'What is your name?'.
Student: 'My name is Beautiful Red Underwear'
Teacher: 'What kind of a name is this? Don't joke tell me the right name'
Student: 'My name is Sunderlal Chadda."
*****
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
*****
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
*****
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
*****
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
*****
Teacher: 'Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? '
Johnny: 'Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.'
*****
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
*****
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg...Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

ரொம்ப நாளாச்சுங்க! சிரிக்க வச்சு!!

குழந்தை அழுகுது அதை கவனிக்காம நீ சீரியல்பார்த்திட்டிரிக்கியே
அட சும்மா இருங்க அதுவும் சீரியல் பாத்துத்தான் அழுவுது!
*******
என்னங்க மாத்திரையின் ஓரங்களை எல்லாம் வெட்டறீங்க
ஆமா மாத்திரையாலே சைட் எஃபெக்ட்ஸ் எதுவும் வந்திடக்கூடாதேன்னுதான்!
*******
தண்ணீலிருந்து ஏன் மின்சாரம் எடுக்கறாங்க
அப்படி எடுக்கலேன்னா குளிக்கும்போது ஷாக் அடிக்குமே!
*******
பெண் 1 : இந்தப்புடவை நல்லாருககாடி எனக்கு
பெண் 2 : ஜோரா இருக்குது, ஆமா நீ புடவை எடுத்தது உன் ஹஸ்பண்டுக்குத் தெரியுமா
பெண் 1 : அட நீவேற கடைககாரருக்கே தெரியாதே!
*******
தண்ணி தெளிச்சி ஏன் கோலம் போடறாங்க
ஏன்னா கோலம் போட்டு தண்ணி தெளிச்சா கோலம் அழிஞ்சிடுமே அதான்!
*******
1மே
2மே
3மே
4மே
5மே
என்ன பாக்கறீங்க... அப்றோம் நான் ஒண்ணுமே அனுப்பலேன்னு நீங்க சொல்லிடக்கூடாதில்ல
*******
வடிவேலு : அமெரிக்கா போகலாம்னு நினைக்றேன் அதுக்கு எவ்வளவு செலவாகும்
பார்த்திபன் : நினைக்கறதுக்கெல்லாம் எதுக்குடா செலவு முட்டாள்!
*******
ரேடியோல இன்னிக்கு மழை வரும்னு சொன்னாங்க நீ கேட்டியா
நான் கேட்கல அவங்களாவேதான் சொல்லீருப்பாங்க!
*******
DYE க்கும் DIEக்கும் என்ன வித்தியாசம்
DYE, மண்டைலபோடறது DIE-மண்டையப்போடறது
*******
IAS ! IAS ! IAS! அப்பாடா உன்னை ஒரு வழியா IAS படிக்கவச்சிட்டேன்
நாளைக்கு ICS படிக்கவச்சிடறேன்! ம்ம்ம்.....