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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

மிஸ்டர் மொக்கை

  • மிஸ்டர் மொக்கை பாரில் இருந்து திரும்பிக் கொண்டிருந்தார்.. பேண்டின் பின் பாக்கெட்டில் ஒரு குவார்ட்டர் பாட்டில் வேறு வைத்திருந்தார்.. வழியில் வாழைப்பழத் தோலில் வழுக்கி தொபீர் என்று கீழே விழ, பின்பக்கம் முழுவதும் கசகசவென்று ஒரே ஈரம்.. அதிர்ச்சியடைந்த மொக்கை இறைவனிடம் வேண்டினார்.. "கடவுளே..! இந்த ஈரம் அடிபட்ட ரத்தமாகவே இருக்கட்டும்.. குவார்ட்டர் பாட்டில் உடைந்து போயிருக்கக் கூடாது..!"
  • மொக்கை தன் நண்பரின் கிராமத்துக்குப் போயிருந்தார்.. அங்கே புது ரோடெல்லாம் போட்டிருந்தார்கள்.. அதுபற்றி பேச்சு வந்த போது.."மொக்கா.. எங்க ஊருக்கு ரோடு போட்டு முதல் முதல் வந்த வாகனம் எது சொல்லு பார்ப்போம்..?"

"உங்க ஊர் பண்ணையார் கார்..."

இல்லே..

"ரோடு திறந்து வைக்க வந்த மந்திரி கார்.."

அதுவும் இல்லே...

"அரசாங்க அதிகாரிகள் வந்த ஜீப்...?"

ம்ஹூம்.. கிடையவே கிடையாது..

"எனக்குத் தெரியலே.. நீயே சொல்லு.."

ரோட் ரோலர்..!

  • மிஸ்டர் மொக்கை முதன்முதல் வெளிநாடு போனபோது நடந்தது இது.. நல்ல பசி எடுக்கவே, மொக்கை ஒரு 5 நட்சத்திர ஹோட்டலுக்குள் நுழைந்தார்.. சுத்தமான சீருடையில் ஓட்டல் சின்னம் தாங்கிய ஊழியர் பணிவுடன் வரவேற்றார்.. இருக்கையில் அட்டகாசமாக அமர்ந்த மொக்கை, எதிரே நோட்டமிட்டார்.. விதவிதமான பீங்கான் குப்பிகளில் பல திரவங்கள் இருந்தன. மேல்நாட்டு முறை தனக்குத் தெரியும் என்று காட்டிக்கொள்ள விரும்பிய மொக்கை அங்கு வளையமொன்றில் தொங்க விடப்பட்டிருந்த உயர்ரக துவாலையை ஸ்டைலாக உருவி, தன் கழுத்துக்குக் கீழே கட்டிக்கொண்டார்.. தான் உணவருந்தத் தயார் என்பதைக் குறிப்பால் உணர்த்தும் பொருட்டு கையை உயர்த்தி, ஊழியரை அருகில் அழைத்தார்.. பவ்யமாக வந்த பணியாளர் உயர்ரக ஆங்கிலத்தில் மொக்கையிடம் கிசுகிசுத்தார்.. "ஹோட்டல் நிக்சனின் அழகு நிலையம் உங்களை வரவேற்கிறது.. கட்டிங்கா... ஷேவிங்கா சார்..?"

Its all about Wives

My wife dresses to kill.
She also cooks the same way.
************
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.
Then we met.
************
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong .
************
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor.
"I asked her, "Where's the car?"
She replied, "In the lake"
************
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
************
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
************
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.
************
Man is incomplete until he is married.
Then he is finished.
************
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied,
"I don't know son, I'm still paying"
************
A man placed an ad in the classifieds:
"Wife wanted."The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same:
"You can have mine"
************ *
It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
************ *
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
************ *
A man meets a genie.
The genie tells him he can ask for whatever he wants,
but his mother-in-law gets double of what he gets.
The man thinks for a moment and says,
Okay, give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead"
************ **
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
************ **

Interesting equation

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence,
Human = Pigs + work + enjoy
If, Human - enjoy = Pigs + work
In other words, Human that don't know enjoy = pigs that work
**************

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Men = Pigs + earn money
If Men - earn money = Pigs
In other words, Men that don't earn money = Pigs
**************
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Pigs = eat + sleep
Hence, Women = Pigs + spend
If, Women - spend = Pigs
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Pigs
**************
Summary: Men earn money not to let women become pigs!
Women spend not to let men become pigs!
Men + Women = 2 Pigs
Wish all the pigs happy forever.

If you love someone

THE ORIGINAL QUOTE
If you love someone, Set her free...
If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't,
she never was....
**********
THE NEW VERSIONS.....
Pessimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ............ .....
If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected,
she never was
**********
Optimist:
If you love someone, Set her free ............ .....
Don't worry, she will come back.
**********
Suspicious:
If you love someone, Set her free ............ .....
If she ever comes back, ask her why.
**********
Playful:
If you love someone, Set her free ............ .....
*If she comes back, and if you love her still, set her Free again, repeat
***********
Bill Gates :
If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for re-installation fees but
Tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
**********
Finance expert :
If you love someone Set her free
If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans
If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

Friday, December 14, 2007

முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

''டாக்டர், என் பையன் அஞ்சு ரூபாய் காயினை முழுங்கிட்டான்...''

''சீக்கிரமா போய் பெரிய டாக்டரைப் பாருங்க!''

''ஏன், நீங்க பாக்க மாட்டீங்களா..?''

''நான் ரெண்டு ரூபாய் காயின் வரைக்கும்தான் பார்ப்பேன்...''

****************

'மந்திரியாரே....என் வீரத்தைப் புகழ்ந்து ஏராளமான பாடல்களைப் பாடிய கவிஞர் காத்தப்பன், இன்று ஒரு வேளை சோற்றுக்கே வழியில்லாமல் உள்ளாராமே..?!''

''இப்போதாவது நம்புகிறீர்களா மன்னா... பொய் சொன்ன வாய்க்கு போஜனம் கிடைக்காது என்பதை!''

****************

''அத்தே! நான் உங்ககிட்டே சண்டைக்கு வராமலிருக்கிறது உங்க கையில்தான் இருக்கு!''

''என் கையில் என்ன இருக்கு?''

''நாலு வளையல் இருக்கே... அதைக் கழட்டிக் குடுத்துட்டீங்கன்னா சண்டைக்கு வரமாட்டேன்!''

****************

'எதிரி மன்னனுடன் போர் அடுத்த மாதம்தானே தொடங்குகிறது... அதற்குள் ஏன் மன்னா அவன் நாட்டுக்குச் சென்று அங்கிருந்து ஓடி வருகிறீர்கள்.?''

''இது சோதனை ஓட்டம் அமைச்சரே...''

I can't hear you!

Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him. Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.

The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did.The priest then asked him again,
"Charlie, did you take any of the offering?"
This time, Charlie replied, "I can't hear you."

The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply,
"I can't hear you."
Finally, the priest yelled,
"CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING?"
Again, the reply was,
"I can't hear you"

The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie,
"Trade places with me and you can ask me a question.
"So, they traded places and Charlie asked,
"Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?"

To which the priest replied,
"By golly, you're right, you can't hear in here!"

சொர்க்கமும் --- நரகமும்

சொர்க்கம்
அமெரிக்க ஊதியம்
ஐரோப்பிய வீடு
சைனீஸ் உணவு
இந்திய மனைவி
நரகம்
அமெரிக்க மனைவி
ஐரோப்பிய உணவு
சைனீஸ் வீடு
இந்திய ஊதியம்

FUNNY MATHEMATICS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

1.முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

"மகாராணி, ரோஜாவுக்குத் தேரைக் கொடுத்துட்டார் அரசர்!"

"தரட்டுமே... ஏற்கனவே முல்லைக்குத் தந்தவர்தானே!"

"ஐயையோ! இந்த ரோஜா அரசருடைய சின்னவீடு!"
***************

"எதிர்வீட்டு கமலாவிடம் ஒரு மணி நேரம் பேசியதில் வயிற்றெரிச்சல்தான் மிச்சம்!"

"ஏன்?"

"நெக்லஸ் புதுசானு கடைசிவரை கேட்கவே மாட்டேனுட்டா பாவி!"
***************

"நேத்து என் கனவுல ஜென்னிஃபர் லோபெஸ் வந்தாங்க....."

"இதைப்போய் ஏன் இவ்வளவு சலிச்சிக்கிட்டு சொல்றீங்க?"

"ஒன்பது கெஜம் புடவையைக் கட்டிக்கிட்டு நல்லா இழுத்துப் போர்த்திட்டு வந்தாங்க...!"
***************

"இந்தப் படத்துல நன்றியுள்ள ஒரு நாய் காணாமப் போயிடுது சார்.
கடைசியில, அதுவாவே சில நாய்ங்ககிட்ட விசாரிச்சு வழி கண்டுபிடிச்சு வீட்டுக்குத் திரும்பிடுது!"

"படத்தோட பேரு?"
"ஜிம்மி ரிடர்ன்ஸ்!"

2.முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

பெரிதாக்கிப்பார்க்க பதிவின் மீது 'க்ளிக்' செய்க!





3.முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
************ *
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...
*********** *
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
************ *
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?????.. ...
************ *
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
************ *
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
************ *
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: I) no mind ii) no business
************ *
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .
************ *
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
************ *
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
************ *
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
************ *
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
************ *
Pass/share this on to some women who need a laugh .. And to men who can handle it !

எல்லாத்துலயுமே நம்ம ஆளு உச்சந்தாங்க!

1. What is height of *Fashion?*

Dhoti with a zip .

************ **

2. What is height of *Secrecy? *
Offering blank visiting cards.

************ **

3. What is height of Active* laziness?
*
Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

************ **

4. What is height of *Craziness?*

Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

************ **

5. What is height of *Forgetfulness? *

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

************ **

6. What is height of *Stupidity? *

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

************ **

7. What is height of *Honesty?*

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

************ **

8. What is height of *Suicide?*

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

************ **

9. What is height of *De-hydration? *

A cow giving milk powder.

Some Very Clever Business Signs

  1. On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business"
  2. On a Plumber's Shop: " We repair what your husband fixed"
  3. On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
  4. On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts"
  5. In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Please drive carefully. We'll wait"
  6. At an Optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place"
  7. In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there hungry. Come on in and get fed up"
  8. In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels"
  9. On the trucks of a Plumbing Company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call us"
  10. Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak"
  11. At a Tire Shop: "Invite us to your next blowout"
  12. At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows"
  13. In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and put you out"
  14. On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive"
  15. At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment"
  16. Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming"
  17. At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be de-Lighted"

Classic Joke

An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up.
The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,
" How do you stay in such great physical condition?"
I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy," and that's why I'm in such good shape."
I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."
"Have a glass of vino, and all is well."
"Well," says the doctor,
"I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it.
How old was your Dad when he died?"
" Who said my Dad's dead?"
The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer.
"In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive ... he's Italian and he's a golfer too."
"Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that.
How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?"
" Who said my grandpa's dead?"
Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?"
"He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer.
The doctor is getting frustrated at this point,
"So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"
"No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today."
At this point the doctor is close to losing it.
"Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?"
"Who said he wanted to?"

Friday, November 16, 2007

I'm the Boss

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.
The next day, he brought a small sign that Read:
"I'm the Boss!"
He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:
"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

ஜோக்-1 :
தயாரிப்பாளர் : படத்தோட பெயரை பார்த்ததுமே அத்தனை பேரும் தியேட்டருக்கு அடிச்சு பிடிச்சு ஓடி வரணும். அப்படியொரு டைட்டில் சொல்லுங்க.
இயக்குநர்: தண்ணி லாரி


ஜோக்-2 :
என்னோட தொப்பியை யாராவது பார்த்தீங்களா?
உங்க தலையிலதான் சார் இருக்கு...
நல்லவேளை சொன்னீங்க. இல்லேன்னா நான் வீட்டுக்கு தொப்பி இல்லாம போயிருப்பேன்


ஜோக்-3 :
பிச்சை : அம்மா... பிச்சை...
அம்மா : ரெண்டு நாளைக்கு முன்னால மீந்த சோறும், மீன் குழம்பும் இருக்கு. போடட்டுமா?
பிச்சை : போடுங்கம்மா... போடுங்க. போற உயிர் எப்படி போனால் என்ன?

ஜோக்-4 :
பிச்சை : நேத்து ஐயா சமைக்கலியாம்மா?
அம்மா : எப்படி கண்டுபிடிச்சே. அவரோட அப்பா ஊரிலிருந்து வந்திருந்தாங்க. அவங்க சமைச்சதுதான் இது?
பிச்சை : சமையல்ல ஒரு முதிர்ச்சி தெரியுது.

Just for FUN

Humor Vacation : "Laughter is an instant vacation" - Merlin Berke
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
Manager: Sorry, but I can't give you a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You will see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
Dad: Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
Husband: You know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did , I still got mine with me!
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it Within three days, you can keep it
Father: Your teacher says she finds it Impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

Honesty

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her,
"Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive! Electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie"
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you"
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her.
The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.
"The official thought this answer strange, so asked,
"And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.
"Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father - - Next!"

Funny Quotes

  • Practice makes a man perfect... - But nobody's perfect..... . So why practice?
  • Money is not everything. - There's MasterCard & Visa.
  • One should love animals. - They are so tasty .
  • Save water. - Shower with your girl friend.
  • Love thy neighbour. - But don't get caught.
  • Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
  • Every man should marry. - After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
  • The wise never marry - And when they marry they become otherwise.
  • Success is a relative term. - It brings so many relatives.
  • Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
  • Love is photogenic - It needs darkness to develop
  • Children in backseats cause accidents - Accidents in backseats cause children
  • Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep
  • There should be a better way to start a day - Than waking up every morning "
  • Hard work never killed anybody" - But why take the risk !
  • Work fascinates me - I can look at it for hours!
  • God made relatives - Thank God we can choose our friends.
  • When two's company, - three's the result! The more you learn, the more you know,The more you know, the more you forget, The more you forget, the less you know - So... Why learn.
  • A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.... What more can I say........

Thursday, November 15, 2007

முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

ஜோக்-1 :

""உடம்பு சரியில்லை.. ஆபீசுக்கு ஒரு வாரம் லீவு கொடுங்னு கேட்டேன். தரமுடியாதுன்னு சொல்லிட்டாரு..''

"அட, அப்படியா?''

"உனக்கு உடம்பு சரியில்லைன்னா, ஆபீசுக்கு எதுக்கு லீவு தரணும்?னு மடக்கி கேக்கறாரு..''

ஜோக்-2 :

"இன்னிக்கு நான் செய்த இட்லி கல்லு போல இருந்ததுக்கு நீ திட்டவே இல்லியே!''

"என்ன செய்ய.. "கல்லானாலும் கணவன்'னு பெரியவங்க சொல்லியிருக்காங்களே!''

ஜோக்-3 :

"நீங்க காதலிச்ச பெண்ணே உங்களுக்கு மனைவியா வருவா..!''

"அந்த தோஷத்துக்கு என்ன பரிகாரம் செய்யணும்?''

ஜோக்-4 :

"என் பெண்டாட்டி சரியான ஏமாளி. நான் பண்ற பித்தலாட்டங்களையெல்லாம் அவளால கண்டுபிடிக்கவே முடியாது!''

"அப்படியா?''

"ஆமாம்.. நேத்துகூட துணிமணி துவைக்கும்போது, ஒரு புடவையை அடிச்சுத் துவைக்காம, அப்படியே அலசிக் காயப்போட்டுட்டேன்.. அதை அவளால கண்டுபிடிக்கவே முடியல... ஹி..ஹி..!''

The Lawyer is too kind?!

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also.
"The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,
"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.
"The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high"

Grandma in Court

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer .
In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs.. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you"
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, " Mrs.. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him"
The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you rascals asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair"

I love the baby

During a commercial airline flight a navy pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms. When her baby began crying during the descent for landing the mother began nursing her infant as discreetly as possible. The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related impedimenta.When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, 'Gosh, that's a good looking baby...and he sure was hungry!' Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said breast feeding would help alleviate the pressure in the baby's ears.

The Navy Pilot sadly shook his head, and in true pilot fashion exclaimed........

'Damn!........ And all these years I've been chewing gum' I love the baby

Contractor

Three contractors . . . One from India, another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. A senior White House official takes them to examine it.
The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900, $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me."

The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me"
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700. "The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy, " the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!
"Guess who got the contract.... ......... ...........!!

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!
Dear Bo$$,
In thi $ life, we all need $ome thing$ mo$t de $perately. I think you $hould be under $tanding of the need$ of your worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company . I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
$incerely Your$
Marian $hih


The next day, the employee received a nice reply like this :
Dear Marian
I kNOw what you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NO thing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet . NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may
go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad . I have NOthing more to add NOw.

You kNOw what I mean

Yours truly,
Manager

Clever Girls

A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"
The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow ?"
"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
Bill Gates organized an enormous session to recruit a new Chairman for Microsoft Europe. 5000 candidates assembled in a large room. One candidate is prem an Indian (chennai) guy.

Bill Gates thanked all the candidates for coming and asking those who do not know JAVA program to leave. 2000 people leave the room. prem says to himself, 'I do not know JAVA but I have nothing to lose if I stay. I'll give it a try'

Bill Gates asked the candidates who never had experience of managing more than 100 people to leave. 2000 people leave the room. Prem says to himself 'I never managed anybody by myself but I have nothing to lose if I stay.
What can happen to me?' So he stays.

Then Bill Gates asked candidates who do not have management diplomas to leave. 500 people leave the room. Prem says to himself, 'I left school at
15 but what have I got to lose?' So he stays in the room.

Lastly, Bill Gates asked the candidates who do not speak Serbo - Croat to leave. 498 people leave the room. Prem says to himself, ' I do not speak one word of Serbo - Croat but what do I have to lose?' So he stays and finds himself with one other candidate.
Everyone else has gone.

Bill Gates joined them and said 'Apparently you are the only two candidates who speak Serbo - Croat, so I'd now like to hear you have a conversation together in that language'

Calmly but quickly, Prem turns to the other candidate and says 'Neenga yeppadi irrukinga?'
The other candidate answers 'nalla irukken , neenga yepadi irrunkinga' .....

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

குஜராத்தி பையனின் குறும்பு

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most respected man, whom people consider God, who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick"
The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct"
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew"
The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ."
The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20"
As the teacher was giving Jayant his money,
she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ"
Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"

காலி

யோகா படிக்க வந்த சர்தார்ஜியிடம் குரு கேட்டார். "சிரசாசனம் செய்யும்போது தலைக்குள் இரத்தம் பாய்கிறது. ஆனால் நிற்கும் போது காலுக்குள் இரத்தம் பாய்வதில்லையே, அது ஏன்?''
அதற்கு சர்தார்ஜி,
"குருவே! உங்கள் தலையைப் போல கால் "காலி'யாக இல்லாததுதான் அதற்குக் காரணம்'' எனப் பதிலளித்தார்.

Friday, October 26, 2007

முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

டீச்சர் : ஏபிசிடி எத்தனை எழுத்துக்கள்?
பையன் : நாலு
டீச்சர் : மொத்தமாக!
பையன் : ஐந்து
டீச்சர் : என்னது?
பையன் : நாலு
டீச்சர் : அறிவு கெட்டவனே!
பையன் : எட்டு
டீச்சர் : நிப்பாட்டு!!
பையன் : ஐந்துடீச்சர் : ?!?!
------------------------------------------------

யானை மேலஆள் உட்கார்ந்தால் RIDE ஆனா, ஆளு மெல யானை உட்கார்ந்தா DIED

----------------------------------

அருகம்புல் ஜூஸ் குடிச்சா உடம்புக்கு நல்லது. ஆனா, நான் குடிக்க மாட்டேன். ஏன்? புலி பசிச்சாலும், புல்லை மட்டும் இல்லை; அதோட ஜூஸ் கூட சாப்பிடாது!!!

What is the truest definition of Globalisation?

Princess Diana's death.
How come?
An English Princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, Driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling), Followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This was sent by an Indian, using Bill Gate's technology, and you're probably Reading this on your computer that uses Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, Assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Pakistani lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Maltese wharfies, and trucked to you by Kiwi freeloaders.

That, my friends, is Globalization!

யாருன்னு கண்டுபிடிங்க!


ஆண்களின் மனதைக்கவர்வது எப்படி?

பெண்களின் மனதைக்கவர்வது எப்படி?

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

விஞ்ஞானி: என்னது சூரியனுக்கு போய் ஆராச்ச்சி பண்ணப் போறிங்களா? அது ரொம்ப சூடா இருக்குமே?
சர்தார்: அதனாலதான் நைட்ல போறோம்!

காதலி: நான் லவ் பண்றது தெரிஞ்சா, அப்பா என் கையில் சூடு வைப்பார்!
காதலன்: இப்படி கூட செய்வார்களா?
காதலி: இங்க பாருங்க.... ஏற்கனவே அஞ்சு தடவை சூடு வாங்கியிருக்கேன்!"

"காதல் வந்தால் சொல்லி அனுப்பு..."
"கல்யாணமே வந்திருச்சு. இந்தா பிடி
இன்விடேஷ்ன். உயிரோட இருந்தால் மொய் அனுப்பு...!"


சர்தார்: ஒரு தேசியக் கொடி கொடுங்களேன்!
கடைகாரை: இந்தாங்க...
சர்தார்: வேற கலர்ல இல்லையா?

நீ பாதி நான் பாதி

திருமணம் சொர்க்கத்தில் நிச்சயிக்கப்படுகிறது


புத்திசாலி


நிலா VS பெண்


கௌம்பிட்டான்யா....!


ஆதங்கம்


சமத்துப்பொண்ணு


இடியட்-னா என்ன?


பில்கேட்ஸ்-க்கு பேன்டாசிங்-கின் பெர்ஃபெக்ட் கடிதம்

"Please click image to enlarge"

பேலன்சிங்


இதுதான் செயின் ஸ்மோகிங்


கண்டுபிடிப்பு


புதுவிதத் தீயணைப்பு முறை


பெட்ரோல் தேவையில்லை : புதுவித பைக் ரேஸ்


பெட்ரோல் தேவையில்லை : புதுவித பைக்


புதுமைப்பெண்

போஸ்டர் விளம்பரம்


விபத்துக்குப்பிறகு பெண்


சர்தார்ஜி-1


சர்தார்ஜி-2


சர்தார்ஜி-3


சர்தார்ஜி-4


சர்தார்ஜி-5


சர்தார்ஜி-6


சர்தார்ஜி-7


சர்தார்ஜி-8

படியில் பயணத்தைத் தவிர்க்க தமிழக அரசு புதிய அதிரடி நடவடிக்கை


"Please Click to Enlarge"

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

16.முடிஞ்சா சிரிங்க!

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girl friend back home. It read as follows:

Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love,
Becky
The soldier, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile and send the rest back to me.
Take Care,
Ricky
Moral of the story:
If you can't change your fate, change your attitude.
I may not be the best, but I am not like the rest!!!


Cool Break-up letter. & nice moral !!!